The twins are here!

See what happens? You write a book about childbirth, and everyone you know starts having babies! The latest birth story I have to share is particularly close to me: Yesterday afternoon, my sister-in-law Melissa delivered two sweet, petite, adorable little babies. Quentin and Fiona were delivered by C-section, and each weighed a little bit more than four pounds. Everyone is happy and healthy, and my daughters are thrilled to have cousins!

Melissa had been hoping to have a vaginal birth, but since one of the twins had been stuck in breech position for the last couple of months, she knew a C-section was more likely. As everyone left town for the holiday weekend (including her doctor), Melissa started having contractions. She says she was glad to have a natural start to her labor, and to have the excitement of feeling contractions and rushing in a taxi to the hospital. The doctor on call left it up to Melissa whether she wanted to attempt vaginal labor (the babies had somehow switched, and the baby closest to the exit was in a good position). However, he told Melissa that even if she delivered the first baby vaginally, there was a chance she would need a C-section to get the second (breech) baby out. This is the type of situation that can stir up many debates about the medical model of birth favoring intervention, but Melissa really felt that the decision was hers to make, and she chose the C-section, because the last thing she wanted was to go through a long, vaginal labor and then have to have a C-section anyway. She says that after she made the decision, she felt relieved and at peace with it. When I saw her this morning, she was very sore--and annoyed that she could only eat Jello--but delighted and excited about the babies and very happy with how things turned out.

Of course, it helped that Melissa had most of her pregnancy to come to terms with the idea of a C-section, and she very closely read the chapters in my book about it, so she was able to emotionally prepare for it (as much as you can, anyway).

What do you think you would do in this situation? Would you try for a vaginal birth? By the way, thanks so much to everyone who has told me they've been reading the blog. I would love to hear your comments! (that means you, Ariel, Lauren, Lisa...)

"You still look pregnant!"

Hey, remember in my last entry I mentioned my hugely pregnant friend Sarah? She is pregnant no more—little Julia Lena was born last Thursday evening after many hours of labor, two epidurals (the first one didn't entirely work, the second was perfect), and then just a few pushes. The baby is the most adorable thing you have ever seen, and both mom and dad are deliriously happy. Mazel tov to the Chumsky/Gewirtz family!

We also have a new neighbor on our floor: Little Lily Pace was born the day before Julia. When I was talking to Lily's mom Caryn right after she came home from the hospital, she had but one complaint: "Two old ladies in our building insisted on telling me I still look pregnant!" she said. "They claimed that they lost all their baby weight before they left the hospital." You know, I had this same experience: As I was getting out of the car, bringing my first daughter home from the hospital almost six years ago, just two days postpartum, my mom announced that when SHE left the hospital with her new baby thirtysomething years ago, she was thinner than before she had the baby. My response to this is: Yeah, right!

I think we are dealing here with a massive case of selective memory. First of all, it takes several weeks for your uterus to shrink down after delivery. Plus, your skin and muscles have stretched so much that it is virtually impossible for them to instantly pop back into place. So no matter what you remember, ladies, you did not lost all the weight instantly! I think it's also important to point out here that in the 1960s, women were encouraged to gain much less weight than the 25 to 35 pounds that is standard now, so they could avoid having too-large babies. Times have changed, but basic biology has not. So please, moms, grandmas, neighbors, how about smiling politely and saying something like, "Congratulations! What a beautiful baby! You look so happy!"

A bittersweet film about the ambivalence of pregnancy

Yesterday I went with my extremely pregnant friend Sarah (by the time you read this, she may already be a mom) to see the new movie "Waitress." It was a highly emotional experience for both of us, not just because of the hormones and the heart-wrenching central theme of a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage, but because the movie was written and directed by Adrienne Shelly, who was brutally murdered last winter just as her film was accepted at Sundance. Adrienne grew up down the street from me, and Sarah directed her in a short film a dozen or so years ago, and we laughed and smiled through the film (which, despite everything, is an uplifting comedy), and then broke down afterward. Sarah's husband Alden did a great job of holding it all together for us.

Anyway, go see this movie. Adrienne wrote it when she was pregnant with her daughter Sophie, and it is one of the most clear-eyed, honest depictions of the ambivalence of pregnancy I have ever seen. Granted, the main character Jenna (played by Felicity herself, Keri Russell) has many legitimate reasons to be unhappy about becoming a mom--a creep of a husband, very little money of her own, and no realistic hopes of escape. But I suspect many of us can relate in at least some small way to how Jenna feels when her friends insist on giving her cutesy pregnancy planners and the staff at her OB's office assumes she wants to be congratulated. And her reaction when she finally does have that baby is believable and delightful. Also, this is one of the very few film depictions of childbirth that I've seen that actually shows a sweaty, uncomfortable mom asking in no uncertain terms for an epidural!

So do yourself a favor and see this film. And then go out for coffee and pie (you will absolutely be craving some chocolate cream or lemon meringue after the movie) and if inspired, consider making a donation to the Adrienne Shelly foundation to support female filmmakers in honor of this this insightful and talented writer/actress/director/mom.