I was recently talking to Andrea Christianson, one of the amazing midwives I interviewed for my book, and she asked me, "If you had another baby, would you consider a home birth?" And, you know, my answer really surprised me. I honestly said, "If I knew for sure my next birth would go as quickly as my last one, I would consider it."
Because I have to tell you, with Bellamy's birth, after seven or eight hours of hard contractions, I was ready for my epidural and thrilled with the relief it gave me. But when I had Molly, the labor went so quickly that by the time I got to the hospital and got the epidural, it was almost besides the point. The baby came out a few minutes later. And then I was stuck in the cramped maternity ward, being woken up every few minutes by announcements and various pokes and prods from nurses who wouldn't win any congeniality contests. I left as soon as the doctor let me—roughly 24 hours later. And frankly, the worst part of my labor was riding in the taxi from my home to the hospital, so if there had been a midwife and doula at home to help me get through the labor, the experience may very well have been a lot more pleasant. (I won't go into all the other powerful reasons women choose home birth here—you have to buy my book to get all those juicy details!)
Some key parts to this tale: I live a five-minute drive from a top-notch hospital (backup plans are essential for any out-of-hospital birth), and if I had not experienced two healthy, normal births already and spent the last couple of years talking to so many women who had great home births, I would still feel way more comfortable in a hospital.
So I do wish that more alternative birth stories were out there, and more women got to hear them—not necessarily so every mom-to-be would deliver that way herself (I am all about adamantly supporting each mother's right to give birth wherever she feels safest and most comfortable), but so they might consider it for at least a moment, and then understand why another mom would make such a supposedly "radical" choice.
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3 comments:
Marisa, it's interesting to hear you say this. I totally agree.
My biggest regret about both of my births was that they weren't at home. I thought that going to midwives at a birth center was enough, but in retrospect I realized that even that is too medical for me.
I wasn't overly fond of my traditional, hospital-based births, either. My second was particularly frustrating: I was basically abandoned by medical personnel in a brand-spanking-new "labor room" with DH who, bless his soul, was completely useless as my birthing advocate. Not sure I would consider a home birth next time round (insert usual denials), but I would definitely consider the midwife/birthing center route.
~Lisa in Jerusalem
Marisa,
Thanks for the kind words of congratulations! I do feel elated to have successfully VBAC'd at home last month. It's such a long story, that I hardly know where to begin here, but the short of it is this:
I did not want another C-section, which seemed to me to have occurred b/c I ran out of time, rather than some urgent medical reason. So, in planning my second birth, I explored my best strategies for achieving a VBAC. The most frequently given answer was, "have a homebirth."
Homebirth was something I was historically interested in from my college days, but I didn't really think it was a viable option for me with a VBAC. However, I was repeatedly told, "to avoid interventions, you need to be away from the place where they are routinely given." We set to interviewing a homebirth midwife and deciding whether this was what we would be doing.
I was more afraid to tell people that I was planning a homebirth, than I was about birthing at home. Based on that, my midwife and doula spent more time helping my cope with my in-laws' reaction to this plan, than we did "preparing" to birth at home.
I will say for the record, that I tested negative for all the risk creating conditions, so it was with a green light for safety that we forged ahead. If there had been any risks, we would have birthed where medical attention could be given.
The night after my due date, I went to bed feeling "not so hot." I thought I had a stomach ache, but it was contractions that awakened me at 12am. They were 10 mins apart, and after about 2 hours, closer to 5 min apart. I called my doula and midwife and they arived by 5am and 6am respectively. By then, I was fully dialated, my water broke (in a rather sudden burst) and I started pushing.
I pushed for 3 hours, leaning against my husband for support, with my midwife, doula and mom in the bedroom. We sat quietly between the contractions, which were still only about 5 min apart, so there were long stretches of silence. I was able to doze between contractions, which was great.
At 9:33am, Hannah was born! It was an amazing experience. It was so calm and relaxed in the room. It was filled with joy and love; not stressful like the operating room had been. I felt that everyone in the room was there to support me and encourage me.
Hannah was placed directly on my chest, and I held her close, touching her soft skin against me, while my husband had his arms around us both.
Our 21 month old son came to meet his sister moments after she was born. He sat on the bed with with us, and said, "hi baby" and touched her head. He had been home for most of the birth, except for a short visit to the playground, and he was not ushered away or restricted by hospital visiting policies. I think his reaction to his sister's birth might have been tainted if he had been frightened by the hospital setting, or distressed by our separation. (him at home, me in the hospital)
Shortly after Hannah's birth, I showered, put on a night gown, and ordered in from the diner and received visitors. My husband and I took a nap together with Hannah between on the bed - just perfect!!! And certainly more comfortable than trying to fit into the twin sized hospital bed.
The real kicker of the whole story is that Hannah was bigger than her brother - At the hospital, doctors and nurses told me that my son wasn't able to be born vaginally b/c he was too big (9.2 lbs & 21 inches long), well, Hannah was 9.8 lbs & 21 inches long!
I think that my chances of a VBAC at a hospital would have been very slim. The slow nature of my contractions would have certainly earned me pitocin, as it had for my son's birth, and ultimately, I might have found myself having another c-section.
Lastly, I'm so glad I had the VBAC, b/c I found the recovery from a vaginal birth so much faster and easier than the c-section. I was at the playground with my son by day 6, pushing him on the swings and pushing his stroller home.
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